Hum Mums Zine April/May 2011
Posted by Jen in Newsletters on April 1st, 2011
Download Full April/May Issue
Explore Spring with Your Child
By Jahna Stumpf
Each year as spring approaches, I begin to feel what seems to be an innate desire to get outside to explore, splash around in puddles… and save worms. I grew up in the country with three of my siblings. We had that childhood..that you may have experienced or heard about, where the children went out to play and came home for meals. We played all day long outside exploring (using all of our senses), discovering properties of materials in our outside environment, and developing an understanding and connection to our earth. As you could imagine, we were happily filthy from head to toe every evening when arriving home. I look back on these years very fondly. This is part of my childhood that I value greatly and would like to share with anyone who is interested.
I have had the pleasure of working with young children for the last 12 years and I have been a part of their discovery of Spring. For me, there are few things better than watching children discover the wonders of the world in which they live. I would like to share some of the activities that I loved so much as a child as well as activities that I have learned an educator.
Nature walks
In Humboldt County we are blessed to live in a place where the grass is basically always green. We have access to so many wonderful natural resources, so much to do, and so much to discover! The great thing about nature walks is that they can happen anywhere, whether it is rainy or sunny. They can even take place on a city block. The springtime is such a fantatic time to get outside and watch the seasonal changes happening everywhere. No matter what your philosophy is on presenting information to children, scientifically and/or with a bit of magic, spring is an ideal time to experience nature. Of course, the other seasons are filled with their own magic and wonder, but for me spring is especially awe-inspiring. Maybe it has something to do with it following the indoor days of winter and feeling ready to get back outside.
There are so many things that could happen on a nature walk. Here are a few.
Hum Mums Zine Feb/March 2011
Posted by Jen in Newsletters on February 1st, 2011
Download full Feb/March Issue
Second Babies
By Jen Briar-Bonpane
It seems that there is a bloom of second children currently under way in my circle of friends. As we talk through their fears and hopes and questions about this decision to welcome another child, I’ve been reminded about what a substantial decision and shift adding another baby (and therefore, toddler, preschooler, “kid”, teenager, young adult, etc) entails.
A baby, as all parents know, eventually moves itself around, toddles, pees in a potty, eats solid food, grabs toys from older siblings, sleep in big kid beds, and become fluent in our language (not necessarily in that order!). Then, they articulate their own ideas, frustrations, and needs in ways that are increasingly potent. They go to school and bring home information that didn’t come from us. Their little feelings get hurt and our hearts break as we listen to tearful retellings. Parenting is intense business. Our hearts are open from they moment we hold them in our arms and we have to bravely carry on with this massive love on our shoulders.
Most parents are more readily available to steep in the wonder and magic of baby number one. Second children are of course no less amazing and awe inspiring, though a parent’s capacity to savor and revel in the baby experience is generally restrained by the simultaneous responsibilities of caring for the first-born.
The decision to have one or more children is incredibly personal and the process can be different for everyone. If you are weighing the possibility of having a second child, here are some of the things you might consider:
Hum Mums Zine Dec 2010/Jan 2011
Posted by Jen in Newsletters on December 1st, 2010
Click Here to Download Complete Dec/Jan Issue
Parent Cooperative Preschools
By Trisha Sanders
Parent Cooperative Preschools are different then other preschools. In this school model, families work together to create a learning environment for their children. Families are partnered with an educated teacher who leads the classroom duties, chooses the curriculum, models age appropriate language and shows families how to use different conflict management techniques.
Most traditional preschools will follow either a State or Federal guidelines allowing the ratio of 12 children to 1 adult. This can lead to a lot of highly structured activities, minimizing the free time children need to explore and grow their innate curiosity and imaginations. In parent co-ops, the ration is much lower with 1 adult to every 5 children. Having more adults available to each child allows the child to be heard, respected when they need help, and have their play validated as the adult and child play side by side.
Besides the time teaching in a classroom, each family participates in a “family job.” The jobs can range from helping with parties, gathering art and classroom supplies or keeping the yard and garden tidy. For the parents that desire more of a leadership role, becoming a Board Member can be a rewarding experience. As each parent co-op is a non-profit, the member-elected Board will make financial decisions that can keep the school community fiscally strong.
HUM MUMS Zine October/November 2010
Posted by Jen in Newsletters, Uncategorized on October 1st, 2010
Click here to download complete Oct/Nov 2010 issue
Listening to Your Children
By Erika Demers, LMFT
You all know that listening to your children is important. But what does that really mean? Although it sounds easy, really listening can be the hardest thing to do, especially during moments of stress, in the midst of a tantrum, or when mom or dad is exhausted and busy. Listening is a skill that gets developed based on your own physiology and your experience of being listened to over the course of your life. Some people get further training that helps increase listening skills. We live in a society that, for the most part, does not know how to listen or respond compassionately to other people. Even when you think someone is listening, he/she may also be distracted – remembering things about an appointment, thinking about what she/he wants to say next, etc. Listening with empathy means “respectful understanding of what someone is experiencing. It requires giving full attention to the inner experience of feelings and needs and putting aside for the time being your own judgments, opinions, and fears.” (Respectful Parents Respectful Kids by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson.)
Here are some of the basics of listening:
• stop what you are doing
• make good eye contact
• get down to eye level (with a child)
• become quietly attentive (no interrupting and try to nod appropriately)
• When the person is finished talking, it helps (especially with a child) to repeat back in your own words what was said to make sure you got it and this increases the positive feeling of being listened to.
HUM MUMS Zine July/August 2010
Posted by Jen in Newsletters on July 1st, 2010
Download July/August 2010 Issue
Midwives: Guardians of Normal Births
By Olympia Franklin, LM, CPM
Throughout history in each society and community, it is midwives who have attended the births of babies. These women were called upon to watch over new mothers and assist them in the personal and cultural rituals that helped them to give birth.
Midwife means with woman and is influenced by the word to mediate. In many communities, the midwife has maintained a role as traditional healer. Now, the range of choices that midwives in regard to how they develop their role and where they practice has created a variety of paths for those in the practice. In California, as in many other states, there are several types of midwives who practice in a variety of settings- homes, birth centers and hospitals. While most midwives are women, there are also a handful of male midwives. Sorting out what the varying acronyms and midwifery credentials mean can be confusing so here is a quick guide:
HUM MUMS Zine April 2010
Posted by Jen in Newsletters on April 1st, 2010
Download the complete April 2010 Issue
Getting Organized
On some mornings, kids dawdle, eggs intended for the pan break on the floor instead, and the clean outfit gets covered in mud before your child even gets to the car. Meanwhile, Mom or Dad’s deep breathing through the predictable chaos might be getting shallower as the hands of the clock push them closer to tardiness at school and work. It’s in these kinds of moments that being able to find what you need before heading out the door can prevent a parental meltdown.
Being able to find things when we need them can be one of the pillars of parental sanity when times get tough. For parents, getting and staying organized becomes more than the aesthetic endeavor it might have been pre-children; with kids, it’s a survival tool. Given this, it seems a little unfair that getting organized while parenting can seem like a daunting and impossible task. Some days, it’s hard enough just to get a shower.
With small steps, a few basic guidelines, and a commitment to the goal, getting organized can happen even in the heart of the messiest parenting jungle. It helps to remember that even a little time invested in the project of organizing can yield worthwhile results. If one little corner of the house gets tamed, it creates one place of calm, orderly and intentional ease that can carry throughout the household.
If that’s not persuasive, the added benefit of teaching our kids to get and stay organized should be. Play your clean up cards right, and your child will be doing more and more of the organizing with you. In the process, they develop healthy, lifelong habits that will serve them well in their future academic, work, social and inner lives.
Spring is in the air. It’s a natural time to tackle the clutter and throw open those closet doors to bring new order to the looming messes that lurk behind them. Let’s get started with some basics from our local guru, Claire Josefine, author of The Spiritual Art of Being Organized. Josefine begins her book by stating her organizing belief, which is “Being organized is a spiritual process Chaos is conquered as much by awareness, gratitude, grounding, and breath as by a well-labeled filing system.” Ahh… doesn’t it feel good to think about it this way instead of some losing battle to be fought in vain?
Josefine’s Zen approach is shaped by the following 12 principles:
HUM MUMS Zine March 2010
Posted by Jen in Newsletters on March 1st, 2010
Positive Discipline
Download the Full March 2010 Issue of Hum Mums
by Jen Briar-Bonpane
Discipline. What a loaded word. What comes to mind when you think of that word? Orderly rows in the classroom? Kids in time out? Losing privileges? ‘Logical’ consequences? Removing toys? Getting grounded? Yelling? Spanking? As with everything we do as parents, we carry the experience of how we were parented alongside our own approach. Sometimes, these two are identical. Many times, they are not.
In her book, Positive Discipline, Jane Nelson explores the traditional approaches to discipline that most of us were raised by. While punishment in various forms seems to be the crux of most discipline, Nelson argues that though it can be very effective in the moment, punishment does not serve children well in the long run.
“Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse?” Nelson asks. Punishment generally results in kids feeling embarrassed, in trouble, rejected, ashamed, mad, inadequate, or sad. Punishing a child will likely stop the misbehavior for the time being, but as Nelson warns, “beware of what works when the long-term results are negative.” As a long-term result of routine punishment for misbehavior, most children take on one of what Nelson calls the “4 R’s” punishment. They are:
1. Resentment
2. Revenge
3. Rebellion
4. Retreat
What is the alternative to punishment? Nelson is adamant that permissive parenting is not a solution and carries negative outcomes of its own. Instead, she recommends an approach called Positive Discipline which involves “mutual respect, cooperation, and focusing on solutions.”
There are 5 criteria for effective discipline that respects children’s need for connection and belonging. Read the rest of this entry »
HUM MUMS Zine February 2010
Posted by Jen in Newsletters on February 1st, 2010
Making Your Partnership a Priority
by Jen Briar-Bonpane
Even without children, long-term partnership can be a bumpy road at times. When we add children to the mix, it indelibly changes our relationship with our partner.
This change is full of amazing, joyful, miraculous aspects. Of course, there are the more challenging shifts as well. With the responsibilities that come with parenting, the upkeep of our relationship with our partner generally gets bumped to the end of a long list of more pressing priorities.
There is less focused time together, less intimacy, more things to negotiate, and less individual time to refill the well to make us patient partners. When we enter the realm of parenthood, we’re no longer only our partner’s spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, or partner – suddenly we’re someone’s mother or father, too. Our bodies are now clung to, climbed on, and not entirely our own. This can really change our interest in and energy for intimacy with a partner. Then there are the pressures of planning for our children’s health care, childcare, schooling, and development….we are loaded with hefty decisions to make.
Ahh… but, “What about us?” we might think in those fleeting moments when our parenting minds get to wander beyond the endless questions of snack, school, discipline, sleep, and potty. “Remember us?”… If you’ve fallen into the easily traveled path of relationship neglect after children, you’re not alone. It’s as if there is a gravitational pull toward the responsibilities and joys of parenting that in turn makes it more difficult to connect with our partners like we used to. Read the rest of this entry »
HUM MUM’S Zine January 2010
Posted by Jen in Newsletters on January 1st, 2010
Download January 2010 Issue PDF
Resolutions and Reflections
for Parenting in the New Year
The planet we call home has completed yet another trip around the sun and a new year is upon us. Since this time of year is replete with resolutions, declarations, and celebrations, we’ve dedicated this issue to offering exercises and questions to inspire reflection on the potent business of parenting. Nancy Samalin wisely said, “Our children give us the opportunity to become the parents we always wished we had.” As you read through this month’s issue of Hum Mums, we hope you’ll steal some quiet moments to consciously reflect on this ‘opportunity’ by exploring at least one of the activities or questions that fill these pages. Starting the New Year with some thoughtful intentions, goals, and hopes for your parenting is a gift not only to you but your little one as well.
The activities shared in this issue are taken from The Center for Nonviolent Parenting’s Parent Education Manual.
Heart Drawings
(From the Center for Nonviolent Education and Parenting’s Parent Education Curriculum)
Draw a heart. Imagine yourself as a newborn. Put words inside the heart that describe you when you were born. Outside the heart, write the messages you think you received from your family as you were growing up.
Now, think about your child. Turn your page over and draw a second heart. This is your child’s heart. Around the outside of the heart put the message you want your child to hear as she grows up. Inside the heart, imagine the feelings you would like your child to feel as she grows up. Inside the heart, imagine and write the feelings you would like your child to feel as she grows up.
HUM MUMS Zine December 2009
Posted by Jen in Newsletters on December 2nd, 2009
Download the complete December issue of Hum Mums
Creativity
Kids seem to be naturally creative. If we make space for them to mess around and create from their own well of imagination without criticism or evaluation, that creativity can flourish. Research suggests that encouraging kids to be creative engages and expands aspects of their intelligence that can bolster math, reading, and science skills. Creativity supports problem solving and can help kids become inventive and flexible thinkers. That’s right, playing with clay, banging on a drum, and doing science experiments with the contents of your refrigerator can actually make your child smarter.
In his book, Frames of Mind, Harvard professor Howard Gardner explained his theory of multiple intelligences and identifies seven types of intelligence (the 8th was identified by Gardner since publication of Frames of Mind):
1. Visual/spatial
2. Verbal/linguistic
3. Musical
4. Bodily/kinesthetic
5. Logical/mathematical
6. Interpersonal
7. Intrapersonal
8. Naturalist
Kids’ creativity can be nurtured in relation to these multiple intelligences. Think about what your kids love to do most or seem to do best in relation to these intelligences. Does your child love to build, draw, arrange furniture/flowers, do puzzles, or find faces in a crowd? These are all expressions of visual/spatial intelligence. Kids who are very aware of their own feelings, tend be self-motivated, and sensitive to values are demonstrating intrapersonal intelligence.
